Musical Mayhem (BTU Alumni 1.5) by Alley Ciz

Author:Alley Ciz [Ciz, Alley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B08R5ZBNH4
Publisher: House of Crazy Publishing LLC
Published: 2021-03-23T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 16

I listen to the casual way Sammy tells me about coming out to his best friend with awe. And if I’m being honest—a novel concept for me I know—there’s also a generous dose of envy too.

Aside from the one man I’d been with—bound by a NDA no less— I haven’t told a soul about my sexuality. Not even Pete.

You don’t have to say it. I know I’m an asshole.

In my defense, anytime I even considered coming out I broke out in a cold sweat, my heart doing its best to beat out of my chest, and the walls always felt like they were closing in on me, the panic is that acute.

I keep waiting for the familiar sensations to hit, but they never come.

Why? Why am I not having a full-blown meltdown? I mean I should be. Maddey knows I’m gay. My secret is officially out.

Where’s my freak-out?

Any other time I’d be running from the room, fleeing the penthouse, drowning myself in liquor, and burying my head in the metaphorical sand.

Instead the deep baritone of Sammy’s voice washes over me like a soothing balm.

“How—” I clear the emotion choking me. “How old were you?”

“Thirteen. It was the summer before we started eighth grade.”

So young.

“Really?”

“Yup.” He smiles and tilts his head, causing his hair to flop over his forehead the way I adore.

No longer having to hold back, I give in to the urge and brush it back into place, lingering after.

His hand comes up to wrap around my wrist, the stroke of his thumb on the sensitive skin of the underside of my forearm electric.

“Were—” Another throat clearing. “Were you scared?”

I can’t even imagine.

“Of coming out?”

I nod.

“Not to Maddey.” It’s his turn to pause. “Not to my family either. But Maddey’s brothers…that was a little intimidating.”

“They didn’t take it well?”

I’m petrified of how people would react to the news. It holds me back more than the potential fallout to my career. I’ve been blessed enough to live my dream, singing on stage to sold-out stadiums, but if I lost it, I’d deal. My friends, I can’t lose them. I wouldn’t survive.

It’s a disservice to them, withholding my true self, automatically assuming the worst about their reactions, but I’m a chickenshit.

“They couldn’t care less. Connor—the one that will be here next month—I think his words were something about how there’d be less competition with the ladies. He already thought he was a stud at fourteen.”

“If you were scared, why come out?”

I need to know.

“It’s who I am.” He shrugs those delicious shoulders. “Could I have waited? Sure. I probably could have made it all through high school without anyone knowing. God knows Maddey would have been my beard, but I didn’t want to live a lie.”

He shifts until we’re thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, his hand cupping my knee.

“Look.” He dips his head to meet my gaze. “I’m not judging you for being in the closet. I told you my story because you asked, not to pressure you into doing the same.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.